Throughout my life up until the age of almost 35, I lived my life with no religion. Sure, I was taken to church and went to Sunday school which I have no recollection of, but when that stopped, I never went on into a religion. I knew, or at least thought there was something like a God who made good things happen and who let bad things happen. I pictured him, of course with the white beard and all simply because that’s what I saw at church and at my grandmothers.
When my dad passed away three weeks after my 13th birthday, I was heart broken and wanted to do whatever I could to die, just so I could go and be with him. You see, before my dad passed, I had to live with my mother in another city about 45 minutes from where I had originally lived with him. My mother and I didn’t really have much of a relationship growing up – I always knew her as the person who had me but gave me up because she was too interested in partying and not interested in me; this is what I was told by another person. So of course, I wanted to go and be with my dad, the person I had such as close relationship with.
I started smoking and drinking but that didn’t kill me, it just gave me nasty breath and a horrible cough. Eventually I realized that I had to deal with the fact that he was gone and I wouldn’t get to talk to him for a long time. Though somehow I knew that he was around. I don’t think I could feel his energy because I didn’t know that’s what existed after the death of a body but somehow I knew that he could see me, I just couldn’t see him.
Fast forward to over 20 years later after I had gotten married and had my first child. Unfortunately, my father-in-law had passed away on January 1st of that year – I felt horrible for my husband and his mother along with his siblings but I also lost yet again, a father that I truly loved as my own.
A few days had went by and I was sitting on the couch with my daughter, videotaping on my phone while she was talking. Something flew by the camera and I immediately stopped filming and reversed the footage. I would go over it slowly and slowly but no matter how much I was trying to debunk it as being a piece of dust flying by, even though the camera light was not on, my gut was telling me it was his fathers spirit.
I’m smart, but at that moment I said something pretty stupid and out loud to my husband.
“Look at this! This….this is your dad!”
He stood there in the kitchen in front of the stove while making food all while looking at me like I had lost my mind. I couldn’t retract my statement but I felt strongly enough that this was his dad’s spirit trying to get my attention. Keep in mind that the closest thing I had ever come to seeing any sort of spirit or orb was by watching Long Island Medium and even then, I had never actually seen an orb on that show. But of course, I shrugged off my gut feeling and left it at that.
Until days later…
I was sitting on the couch and again, my husband was doing something in the kitchen. I was watching TV and doing nothing out of the ordinary – I was just breathing and in one inhale I got the whiff of his parents home. Their home had a distinct smell, not bad – kind of florally but even then, it was a distinct florally smell. I hadn’t been to his parents house in days, nor had my daughter but he had been the day prior. He was quite far from me and wearing different closes because he had showered. That smell, it was so powerful and I quickly said,
“Oh wow…that was weird. I was just breathing and all of a sudden got this intense smell of your parents’ house.”
At that point I knew right away exactly what was happening; he was trying to get my attention, but why? Though I knew what was happening, I couldn’t believe it – why me? Not that I wasn’t happy about it but I couldn’t speak to dead people therefore I didn’t know what to do with it. Minutes later after ponding ‘why me’, I got a sense to connect with a Medium; something I had never done before. It was something I had always wanted to do in order to connect with my dad but because of all of the scammers I kept hearing about, I figured it would be best to wait until I died and I could talk to him then.
But no….I had to open up my phone, found a Medium, read the reviews and booked a meeting with her.
That reading changed my life. She spoke of things with great clarity. She told me things that I didn’t even know and later had to get confirmation from family members. She hit the nail on the head with so many things and the interesting thing was that I just kept listening. No words were spoken from me unless it was me asking a question. She said some pretty amazing things but the one thing in particular that stood out was that close to the end of the call, she said,
“Oh, and I just want to tell you one more thing – you’ll be reading a lot more. You’ll find yourself searching out books to read more about spirit. Keep an eye out for that.”
I laughed immediately after and in my head I said, “Lady, you’re good but you’re so wrong about this. I haven’t finished a book in my entire life. I hate reading and I will never read.”
Wouldn’t you know it, I found myself in Chapters just weeks later in the New Age section. I didn’t even know what New Age meant but I pulled out a book called 365 Ways to Develop Your Psychic Ability and bought it. No, I didn’t end up being psychic but that book started me on a path to my awakening. I continued to read more bookings but the books started to become more along the lines of, how to be a Medium and focusing on intuition and how to hone in on it and use it for my benefit. My new spiritual journey had started and I had no idea what awesomeness was in store for me going forward.
It’s unfortunate that the passing of someone that I loved as my own family was the catalyst to my awakening but I am forever grateful for his spirit connecting with me afterwards, showing me the ability that I had, that I could strengthen and use it to help others – because it has. Not yet to the full affect that I wish but that time will come, I am sure.
Often we find ourselves in situations where death or other horrific events are what create that space for our awakenings. Depending on the situation, we can really awaken to see that life isn’t just as we see it – we are born, we grow, we work, we suffer, we celebrate, we get old, we die. But there is so much more and when you see that, everything in life has a whole new meaning, and I mean everything.
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