We are only 9 days into 2020 and something big shifted for me already. The desire and drive to move my life into a different direction really pushed me a few days into 2020 and it was something I couldn’t deny.
Ever since my (spiritual) awakening, I have had this yearning to do so much more with my life than sitting and doing a desk job. My twenties through to my current age, I have just wanted to help people. I didn’t know how, I just knew that’s what I wanted to do. But, it was more than just here and there, in my own community/city, it was much larger than that. I just had no idea where I was to put my energy to in order to feel like I was going what I wanted.
How was I going to help?
Who was I going to help?
What was the purpose of this desire?
Seriously, what am I here for?
I heard often of people wanting to help others, wanting to make a difference in the world but it seemed like no one could really pinpoint exactly how they wanted to do that unless they were one of those lucky ones. I was no different; I felt like a lost kid, turning down all the wrong roads trying to get home only to end up further away and more frustrated and scared of what was going to happen next.
Ever since my move to Toronto 15 years ago, I have been working a desk job at a large bank. I was at that job for 13 years as an assistant. I enjoyed parts of the job that allowed me to interact with all the people on the floor but it definitely wasn’t something I was looking to stay at forever but I didn’t know what I wanted in a job. Events was something on my list but with such little event experience and no training allowed, I just stuck to my normal job….helping others at the office.
“Hmmm”, I thought. “Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the way in which I was to feed that desire to help others?” Because technically, I already was. But, as much as I tried to make myself believe that this was in fact how I was meant to live out my life, something was telling me different. Yet, I couldn’t make a move. I truly enjoyed and loved some of the people I worked with. I enjoyed my job up until a few years before it ended but I was comfortable and I didn’t want to leave. What if my new boss or colleagues hated me? What if I was going to do a horrible job at whatever it might be that I do next? I was extremely fearful as to what could happen had I taken that jump. I was getting married, I had a 1 year old, I wasn’t doing the greatest financially but I was happy for the most part. Why shake it up?
So I stayed, bored but safe.
January 1, 2015 was the day we found my father-in-law at the time, had passed away in his sleep on his bed. I could rewrite the story of what happened but you can read the full story of what happened and how the awakening happened by going here).
That was the day that really changed everything for me. That was the day that my awakening happened and had no idea how everything was about to change.
It has been five long years since that awakening. I have been through my ups and downs, through a new job, through a separation and single parenthood but I have also had the most amazing experiences of my life in those five years. And I’m not talking about climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro kind of cool, (no, I haven’t done that). I am talking about the experiences that I have had from the connection to what most can’t see. Being connected the source energies of the Universe has brought me peace when things were too loud, calmness when I felt overwhelmed, love when I needed it the most. It helped me to see the world with a clear set of eyes. To see people not just as people but as myself. I have a whole new understanding of who I am and who we all are.
The funny thing is that I didn’t learn this from books, videos or speaking events – I always knew this but I didn’t know I knew it until I went through it.
Though I have had the most amazing experiences going through this journey, my transformation was and still is far from over. The past year I have felt an even bigger push to want to help, to share what I know and what I continue to learn, to help others and it wasn’t until January 3, 2020 when I woke up one morning and knew exactly what I had to do.
Life is too magical to waste; there is so much this world, this Universe has to offer that I feel the need to share that as well to share the transformation I have gone though, am going through and will continue to go through.
Waking up doesn’t necessarily mean that life is all roses. We are all here for a reason, to make our own impact, to learn and to teach and through that comes life’s normal obstacles but what I have learned is that life can still be so amazing, no matter what obstacle you are going through. Life shouldn’t be so tough and we all have amazing potential. Whether you want to connect to the energy source or whether you prefer to live your life with more joy and love – it’s possible and I am living proof of it.
I don’t have a fancy car or a house – I have a car that’s rusting and back in that roach apartment but with the things I have learned over the past five years, it’s been more than enough to help me conquer everything and finally live an amazing life.
I am now just here to share that.
This is it. This is how I am here to help. How do I know? It brings me joy, excitement and fulfillment.
That is when you know you are onto something.